Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Practicals of Grief 1

I'm starting a new blog series of "the practicals of grief." For me, getting through grief has been unlike anything I have ever gone though. The hard part was there was no manual book. Many of the struggles I have had are trying to learn how to live again in my "new normal." This is hard because sometimes I need a practical solution to something that was being caused by grief. I have started collecting a few of these practicals that really help me to continue functioning in the midst of grief. Because even if we want it to stop- life doesn't and those of us grieving have to find a way to keep on living.

So practical tip # 1- How to manage the crying?
(I can't really take credit for this tip because I saw it in a grief share email I received.)

The problem- crying all the time to the point where it interferes with  your work and daily life.

The practical solution- find a time at night or in the morning where you can have 30 minutes alone. Set a timer for 30 minutes and listen to sad music or look over old photos of your loved one. Then, let the tears come. Allow yourself to cry of the whole time until the timer goes off. The next day set the timer for 29 minutes and do the same thing. You decrease the number of minutes each day. This way you get your tears out in a healthy, safe environment and are hopefully able to function again without the tears causing such a disruption. After 30 days of this, the tears should slow up.

I found this tip to be great and very practical. The month of April has been hard on me. I found myself crying multiple times a day and couldn't really get a handle on it. So I started letting myself cry every time I took a shower. I would pull out my saddest music and allow the tears to come. I couldn't believe how much better I felt after a few days and how much more control I had over my emotions. I was able to get through the days again without breaking down all the time.

Hope this practical tip helps. It's not enough to say "just stop crying." The tears are healing and have to get out one way or another. This way you can hopefully have a little more control of when they come.

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