Dear Geoffrey,

Thank you. The card you sent to my dead son to wish him a happy one year birthday was very touching. Even though you are a fictional character and I know the card was generated by a mass mailing list, it still moved me. The cute picture of the baby eating a cupcake on the front with a 1 on it and you by his side was adorable. The message on the inside which read "someone special is turing one, and that's a big accomplishment!" touched me so much. Someone special is turing one this month,  he just isn't here to celebrate with cupcakes or to use the 5 dollar gift card you sent him. 


I must say I was taken back when I opened the card. Kind of like a stabbing feeling in my chest and then having to remind myself to breathe. I just didn't think you would remember his birthday, Geoffrey, but you did. Thank you. I am keeping it in Caleb's scrapbook, seeing as this might be the only birthday card he gets.  I wonder about all the other babies you sent a card to who aren't there to get it. I wonder if their mommies broke down in sobs and then clung to the card the way I did. Oh Geoffrey, thank you for validating that my son was here; here long enough to be on a big list somewhere with all the other one year olds. Just one more thing- can you remember to send him another one next year? He will would be two. Thanks Geoffrey for the birthday wish for my special someone who's turning one. 


Yours,
Caleb's Mommy




This card came yesterday in the mail. I must say I wasn't prepared for it at all and it's just another example of a grief trigger. Things that you don't see coming that derail you and send you spiraling. I don't know what I cried more about- the fact that my son wasn't here to use the gift card from Toys R Us or the fact that I was so touched he got an actual birthday card. (Its so cute, really!) I will never get to see him get birthday cards, so it meant a lot to me. Another reason why its a good idea to be gentle with your grieving friends around the one year anniversary of their loss. Lots of grief triggers that derail a person on a normal Thursday afternoon while getting the mail.....