It's only been a year. This phrase is why I love going to the counselor. I kept saying "But, it's been a year....I should be better..." And she would reply "RyAnne, its only been a year." Who knew that such a little word could make such a big difference? That little word held such compassion, such love. There was freedom in that only. Freedom to keep grieving, keep falling apart, keep healing because in reality it has only been a year.
Maybe that is the best thing people can say to someone with a loss when they don't know what to say. "It's only been (insert how much time)" The only takes the time pressure off the person and lets them know that they are exactly where they need to be in the grieving process. Grievers can feel so much pressure from friends and family to "move on" with their grief and just be done with it. But unfortunately grief doesn't work that way. It's a lifelong journey with ups and downs and time isn't really relevant. It's only been a year....and that's where I'm at.