Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of Mary

We've made it through Holy Week! It was such a gift to be able to devote so much time this year to all the Tridiuum services and really enter into the Paschal Mystery. Saturday night was the big event with the Easter Vigil. The Mass was amazing with 20 new members coming into our parish (side note-did you know that around 150,000 people will enter the Catholic Church this Easter?Awesome!). It was a beautiful night where you can really see the darkness becoming bright again. Literally-we start the Mass in pitch black and by the end of it there are lights and candles everywhere!

As Mass was letting out, everyone kept yelling "Happy Easter" to one another as they left the pews. There was so much happiness. And I wanted to feel it and I did to an extent, but my heart was still so sad. I could feel the emptiness inside of me from missing Caleb. I kept thinking "how many more Easters do I have to live without him?"

As we made our way out the doors, I asked Nathan if we could stop and pray in the side chapel for a bit. Once we were in there I felt free to let the tears come. I was so frustrated, why couldn't I be happy? He has Risen! Why can't I enter into it? My heart just kept breaking for my own loss and others losses. I knew that just because Easter had come on the calendar, so many people were still suffering and in their own hell. As I tried to talk through my tears and big gasps of air, Nathan said something that stuck with me and made me feel better. He said, " You are still sad because you are like our Mother-she has one heart, but it is called the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary. She carries all the joy and sorrow at once in her heart." Ah-Ha! Now that made sense to me. Mary does carry both sorrow and joy simultaneously in her heart. She gets it-and that gave me peace. It also helped me enter into the happiness more. Thank you Mary for your wisdom.

Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of Mary-Pray for us!
(Pierced with a sword, but still so beautiful)

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