Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Here I am, Lord send me...

When I went to get the mail yesterday I saw an envelope from  Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep addressed to me. I thought it had something to do with the follow up from some donations that were made in Caleb's honor for his birthday. I was wrong! It was a confirmation letter telling me that I have officially been approved as a NILMDTS volunteer.

I felt God calling me to apply about a month ago and the process was quick and simple. So this means now Ill have a chance to go back into the hospital rooms with the mothers and fathers of babies who have died. I will always go with the photographers and help then with whatever they need. I'm excited, nervous, and a little bit in disbelief that this is my life. I know rationally it doesn't make sense that I would want to go back into those sad and awful situations.  But I want to help, I long to be back in those rooms with the other babies who were like my son. Death is such a part of me now and so I guess on some weird level it makes sense that I would find my way back to it.

On a side note-my husband just got accepted as a volunteer in a program called No One Dies Alone at the local hospital. He also feels the call to be around death and will sit with strangers as they pass from this life into the next. Seriously-how is this our life? I don't know, but there is peace. I never, never,never thought this was the path God would take us down.

I laugh now thinking about this song that I played and prayed over and over again before our wedding. We were weeks away from getting married, no jobs, no house,no insurance, nothing. I told the Lord he could send me anywhere, just as long as it was something! Be careful what you ask for! I know though that having a son in Heaven was always part of the plan, like I couldn't be the RyAnne I was made to be without having gone through this. So with that being said, Im excited about this new chapter in my life and the chance to give back to an organization that gave us so much. Here I am, Lord, send me!

Two videos on the organization- Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for the incredible witnesses you are to this world :)Miss you both and sending prayers your way!