"It doesn't matter." Something I've been saying for about the last week and a half leading up to our retreat tomorrow night. I say it about everything- the laundry, the food, the messy house, the broken garage door. We have been doing this ministry long enough now to know that the month of a retreat is kind of a loss for things in our personal life. We give ourselves permission to let things slide because we know the grief that comes with tending to other people's grief.
Today as I was reflecting on whether or not that is the right thing to do-to let things go- and I felt God asking me to see it as a gift. When Caleb died everything stopped and nothing mattered. His death put everything into perspective and made me see what was really important-Heaven, Christ, Eternity and getting there so I could be with him. Doing this ministry and leading these retreats brings all that to the front again-nothing matters except Heaven, Christ, Eternity.
Tomorrow night I will minister to women who are broken, some of them fresh and raw with grief. And many of them will wish like I did in those early days that their only problems right now were dinner each night, laundry, a messy house or a broken garage door. But instead they will be in the pit of grief and well when you are there nothing matters.
Thank you Jesus for letting me know and for bringing me back to the fact that nothing matters-nothing but Heaven, You, and Eternity.
Please pray for us tomorrow night that the Holy Spirit would come and bring the healing power that is promised!