But that's grief. And that is why its sanctifying. That is why I know without a doubt that this was my path to Heaven. Because grief strips you of everything- your plans, your reason, your functionality, your order. Its all gone. And maybe its weeks like this when I should thank God the most because they remind me all over again that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. That yes, I want to cook dinner and do laundry and be a good wife and mother. But I cant this week and really if those things were all that made up being a good wife and mother, then I would have passed that test a long time ago. This week I am struggling and I am going to offer that to God because that is all I have. A messy house, no dinner plans, dirty diapers that need washing, a short temper with my living child and an ache in my heart for a little boy who is missing his second fall season. And tears, lots of tears that seem to flow at the most random times. Lord, give me the grace to offer this to you.
Loving this song today
This is beautiful RyAnne!Your love for Caleb is beautiful, just amazing! I think that this post is great because it allows us to see your ups and downs and how much this affects you, even now. It's a wonderful example of how a mother never "gets over" the loss of a child. Grieving is just apart of this process and it never goes away. Thanks for sharing such a sensitive part of your life.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, RyAnne.
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